just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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