she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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