Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
