I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize