I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
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