it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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