Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
