after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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