Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize