i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
