Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
