how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
