woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
