the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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