Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
