I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
