trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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