What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
