How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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