Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
