so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
