she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dating After Heartbreak
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She bit a glass in half.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.