i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
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Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
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Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Two words: blizzard sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE