You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
