just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
