i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
