her vagine was all disorganized.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
