May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I still have a little drunk in my system
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