Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
