He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
MIDGETS
????
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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