If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize