His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
