White coat. Heels.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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