rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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