Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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