They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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