STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
