i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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