Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
