I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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