She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
