ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
