i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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