So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
