another moral hangover. fuck.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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Sacagawea was the original milf.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
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Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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