so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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