Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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