Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
