im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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