I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
