Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Randomize
