Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
