I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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