I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
