??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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