just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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