if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
