weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
