i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.