I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
