I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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