Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
