Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
