Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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